Why do I never learn? Why do I not understand that texting after copious amounts of alcohol does not a classy woman make. Last night, in momentary drunken madness, I wrote a damning summation on the male race and then sent it to members of that race – at random. The helpful replies have thus far included; ‘Have you considered lesbianism?’ (predictable) and ‘Oh dear, what’s happened now?’ The latter I find vaguely worrying in its insinuation that disasters involving me and the male species are commonplace.
The reason for this attack of the ‘all men are b*stards’ syndrome is quite simple. Last night, I was STOOD UP for my second date with the 25 yr old, blue eyed, stud – our first date having taken place last weekend. I had already surmised that communication was not his forte but concluded that just because I work in it and like to think I’m quite good at it, that doesn’t mean that everyone else has to be. I had therefore been content with the vague arrangements to meet ‘somewhere local’ after his footie finished at 7:30pm. At 9pm, still awaiting final arrangements, I rang him. “Hi, um…just wondering if you’ve been abducted by aliens, had your mobile nicked or just plain stood me up? I’m thinking the latter so I’m going out now”.
Hence why, several glasses of wine later, I found myself staggering back from my neighbours, gleefully texting about the inadequacies of the male race to all and sundry.
This morning, my flatmate and I have agreed that mobiles should come with an ‘I am drunk button’, which, once activated, blocks all outgoing texts until it can be reasonably assumed that the phone owner has sobered up.
In the meantime, I am left to nurse my hangover and await another day and I think, (having got the message loud and clear)…another man.
3 comments:
What a loser! How dare he stand you up? I completely agree with the ban on drunken texting - they should start making 'don't drink and text' campaigns, to help prevent us girls from making this mistake again and again. Don't let him get to you Sister Louise - on to the next I always say!!
Oh my god that's brilliant...'don't drink and text'...I'm changing the heading to the blog from Momentary Drunken Madness, yours is so much better.
Oh Sister Louise, wouldn't it be awful if you'd completely jumped to the wrong conclusion about this 20something year old. Fancy that in the foggy hours the following day you found out that you hadnt technically been stood up, but that there was a genuine reason why he'd not been able to contact you, perhaps his phone battery let him down and despite his best efforts to contact you amongst the masses of London Town he was unsuccessful...wouldn't it be awful???
Lets hope love can conquer all drunken texts.xx
Post a Comment