Thursday, August 31, 2006

A Common Ground

So! I've got me a date with a 25 year old, blue eyed, stud. Apparently we can have a "cheap date before pay day or a better one after." The 'skintness' is quite endearing after all the lawyers I've dated in the last sixteen months. It's nice to be back on common ground.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Once in a Blue Moon

It's that same feeling again, the oh so rare feeling that only visits once in a blue moon. I look at him fiddling with the keys to close his door, heavy bag slung over his shoulder, so relaxed in his own skin and I want to envelope him, wrap myself tightly around him and never let go. He's beautiful. And we sit on the tube and I'm annoyed by the phone in his hand and the bags that he's carrying because I can't get close enough to him in the last few precious seconds before he leaves. And when he says goodbye, I'm completely mute - struck dumb by the impossibleness of vocalising these thoughts I have of him. He's on his own journey right now and it doesn't include me. He's not a b*stard, but he won't call any time soon...if he's going to ring he always says so as he leaves. His life is busy right now, and if he felt the same way about me, then he'd find a way to include me and therein lies my answer. So I swallow my words and weakly smile goodbye. It's hard to push these dreams back into their box, but I do so for my own happiness and must only bring them out again for someone who wants to fulfill them with me.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

The Modern Day Romance

It's Saturday. Last night I was out - looking, searching, hoping for more. Today having not found it, I am nursing my hung over indifference to the world with Sky's repetitive re-plays of Big Brother. And having firstly confessed to watching Big Brother - I also have to admit that I find something totally charming in the Nicky & Pete story. Perhaps it's the way that Pete awkwardly admitted in the diary room to being 'in love' or the childish delight they each shared in their giggly hugs. Is this as good as it gets - the modern day romance?

How sad it is that I get more pleasure out of watching their joy – however short-lived it may be – than I do from my own love life. I’m nearly 30. Where’s my Knight in shining armour that was meant to ride up on a white horse and whisk me into a “lived happily ever after ending?"


Does 'happily ever after' exist anymore?