Now how does that old song go? Funny how the girls you fall in love with never fancy you, funny how the ones you don’t do? Which also works vice versa - with boys.
Sorry for it all coming down to boys again but the only thing of note that has happened to me recently is a re-enforcement of Sister Bridget’s treat ‘em mean adage.
For once I am really rather happy being single but that doesn’t mean to say that I’m not on the look out! A couple of weeks ago my friend tried to set me up with a work friend of hers. The boy in question was not drop dead gorgeous but seemed sweet enough, if a little quiet. I keep saying to myself that I will control my drunken behaviour now that I am a grown up but it never quite works, so as three drinks turned into four, quiet turned into mysterious in my drink addled mind and I set about making him mine for the evening.
Sorry for it all coming down to boys again but the only thing of note that has happened to me recently is a re-enforcement of Sister Bridget’s treat ‘em mean adage.
For once I am really rather happy being single but that doesn’t mean to say that I’m not on the look out! A couple of weeks ago my friend tried to set me up with a work friend of hers. The boy in question was not drop dead gorgeous but seemed sweet enough, if a little quiet. I keep saying to myself that I will control my drunken behaviour now that I am a grown up but it never quite works, so as three drinks turned into four, quiet turned into mysterious in my drink addled mind and I set about making him mine for the evening.
The next morning I awoke bleary headed with only a number of digital photos and some misspelt texts to tell me how my evening had gone. It seemed that I had invited him down to London the following weekend. I wasn’t too sure about him coming to see me at all seeing as he lives a while outside London and he’d have to stay at mine. I ignored several phone calls and texts the next week but as the week rolled on, I relented, and against my better judgement, replied to his increasingly sweet texts and arranged for him to come down to see me.
He arrived the following weekend and I quickly realised that he wasnt' going to be 'the one'. He was terribly nice but just not what I need.
The really sad thing is that under other circumstances I would love to meet a man who barrages me with lovely calls and texts and is willing to wait five weeks until he sees me next (I told him I was busy for the next five weekends), but it’s the same old thing. I don’t like him so he is keen on me and the more I distance myself the more he seems to like me. This has happened to me several times before and whilst it seems like a rather nice problem to have it always leaves me feeling down. I begin to wonder if he’d like me as much if I liked him and if this isn’t why when I do like people things have ended up going wrong. I also wonder if (as my friend who set us up suggested) I only dislike him because he likes me. That is an even more frightening thought. My friends words to me were ‘you’re always saying that you’d like to get married but if you did meet someone who wanted to marry you, you’d run a mile’. What if she has a point……?
7 comments:
I don't think you should worry yourself too much with these depressing ponderings Zaria. If you think about it; for both parties to fancy each other, get on, have some common interests, values, share a sense of humour and generally like each other - the chances are quite slight! SO - if he feels all that for you, or in the other cases, you feel that for him than at least you're half way there. All it takes is for one occasion where it happens for both of you and - Bam! Married and on your way to motherhood!! I think you'll be fine xx
Whilst Sister B makes very good points...I too am a worrier!
I am going through a similar situation....I'm in a kinda "funny how" meets "Right for Now or Right Forever" (September06) conundrum.
He thinks I could be "the one" but i'm definately not in the same place and he is DEFINATELY not the right person for me...but will he do as Mr Right Now...?
Sometimes I feel a bit of a bitch...other times I think well a bit of fun might do me the world of good. But what about him and his feelings?
I was at the worlds end this time last year when Mr Love-of-My-Life decided things werent right, and now I'm sorta messing this new guy around, in a similar vein.
Should I do what's right for me (and risk hurting him) or what's right for him (which means no itch scratching for me, if you get my drift!!).
So Sister Zaria, I'm down with you and your worrying, it happens to the best of us.
Why oh why is it always so complicated?
Sorry, was being a bit too airily optimistic in my last comment, I completely agree that the whole dating world and finding potential life time partner is a complete nightmare and total disaster - why else do I write the blog?!! But sometimes you do have to look on the bright side, and I'm sure there is one. Re. your problem Soul Sister - it is actually interesting because (and I have never admited this on the blog, so you're getting your world-wide exclusive here!) Mr Right Now, did in fact turn out to be a bit more permanent than that, and you might be more familiar with him these days under the name Mr Bridget!! So these initial short term flings can turn into something more serious if you give them a try. Me and Mr B still have our problems, and the future is a bit hazy but things can change a lot, and people can surprise you if you give them a chance. So don't see it as you being selfish - just give him a fair go, never say anything you don't mean or give him any false hopes, and as soon as you realise you don't want to continue then you'll know it's time to end it. If you're happier now than you've been in a while, it must be a good thing and could become something even better. Why don't you write a blog about it?!! SB x
Thank you for your wise words Sister Bridget. It's good to know that we're all in this together.
The bit about "don't say anything you don't mean or give him any false hopes" has struck a real chord with me. Its such a simple idea but yet one I seem to have overlooked! (ha no comments about that thanks!)Nevertheless, its never dawned on me that I can take this at my pace and I don't have to jump in feet first, which is my usual approach to almost everything!
As for writing a blog, I'm not sure I'm up to parr with you Bronte Sisters (see what I did there!!!), but I will definately have a think about it and get back to you.
Til then Sisters, take it easy, live lots and don't forget to write about it. xxx
Ah I love you Soul Sister!! I know that's so American but I really do, see you soon I hope honey,you're life is starting to sound like mine - tee hee!! xx
You are all so right. I think taking things at our own pace is the way forward. Its the only way boys do things afterall....!
Petite's posted this link to e-cards...I think we could come up with some great ones for the flirting section based on our different themes... for example "Your my Mr Right For Now, not Right For Ever, so get over yourself buddy.."
http://www.someecards.com/upload/flirting/index.html?ep=20
What other themes have we started?? :-)
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