Once in a Blue Moon

It's that same feeling again, the oh so rare feeling that only visits once in a blue moon. I look at him fiddling with the keys to close his door, heavy bag slung over his shoulder, so relaxed in his own skin and I want to envelope him, wrap myself tightly around him and never let go. He's beautiful. And we sit on the tube and I'm annoyed by the phone in his hand and the bags that he's carrying because I can't get close enough to him in the last few precious seconds before he leaves. And when he says goodbye, I'm completely mute - struck dumb by the impossibleness of vocalising these thoughts I have of him. He's on his own journey right now and it doesn't include me. He's not a b*stard, but he won't call any time soon...if he's going to ring he always says so as he leaves. His life is busy right now, and if he felt the same way about me, then he'd find a way to include me and therein lies my answer. So I swallow my words and weakly smile goodbye. It's hard to push these dreams back into their box, but I do so for my own happiness and must only bring them out again for someone who wants to fulfill them with me.